


Regrets

by wingsofthenight



Category: Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, FE8 Week, Gen, chapter 15, spoilers for eirika's route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-08-27 00:55:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8381569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wingsofthenight/pseuds/wingsofthenight
Summary: When he had left a decade ago, he had promised that one day he would return, older and wiser and better able to rule his homeland.He never thought that his homecoming would turn out like this.(Or Joshua's thoughts at the end of Chapter 15: Queen of the White Dunes)





	

**Author's Note:**

> For Day 2: Regrets of FE8 Week on tumblr

When he had left a decade ago, he had promised that one day he would return, older and wiser and better able to rule his homeland.

He never thought that his homecoming would turn out like this, as part of an army attempting to fight off the army that had already taken the castle, where he only saw his mother again in her last moments.

Why hadn’t he returned as soon as he heard that Grado was preparing to invade Renais? He could have. Yes, he hadn’t had the money to buy passage back to Jehanna, but he knew exactly how to survive in the desert and had had more than enough to pay for enough water to survive until reaching another village or oasis.

What had stopped him was the thought of what her reaction would be upon seeing him. He would actually prefer her to be disappointed, to not want him around after having left with only a short note, but even over ten years later he knew that she would only welcome him back with relief, not caring that he had spent all that time away, not telling him the words that he needed to hear, of how he shouldn’t have left, of how much he had hurt her and disappointed his people. Others would he knew, but never the one he needed to hear them from.

He refused to admit that to himself though. He told himself that she didn’t care for him enough to have spent any time with him after his father’s death. He refused to think about the memories he had of her when she showed that she did care about him, the ones that unsettled him far more than any nightmare could hope to.

Even after hearing the Grado priestess’ tale of what that empire wanted (that was another thing he refused to think of, how he had never told her who he really was and how now he would never win that bet of theirs and how he deserved for that to never happen as payment for this) he still never left and went back. Then he had reasoned that the princess of Renais would need help not getting killed on what he had privately thought of as a hopeless journey to find her twin brother, which was actually one of the few things he didn’t regret- it led him to find out at least some of what was going on, after all.

It was not immediately heading off after that task was complete that he regretted.

He didn’t have any reason to stay after all. They had enough manpower to both strike Grado and warn the other nations of their plans for the sacred stones after all.

He still had no explanation as to why he did. Even him not wanting to face his mother wasn’t a factor at that point, with what Grado was planning to do. He doubted he ever would find any sort of explanation for staying at this point.

He did go with the princess at least, telling himself that as soon as they arrived in Rausten he would immediately go and find passage to Jehanna and warn them if that Frelian prince hadn’t already made it there, and to try and defend his home if he had.

He should have known that it wouldn’t turn out that way. He actually believe he did in some small corner of his mind, he just lied to himself, saying that he would have the time to warn him, that Grado wouldn’t make a move until he was back.

He should have realized that his luck was never going to be that good. But instead he had refused to actually see what he knew would happen until it was too late.

And now, as he watched his mother breathe her last, knowing that his country had been conquered, all he was left with was his regret for leaving and refusing to come back until it was too late.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure if I got Joshua's character right here, but I guess you could almost excuse that as he's currently watching his mother die. Even with that it's probably too melodramatic though.
> 
> Honestly, I think it would be interesting to see what would have happened if he had come back to Jehanna before the plot of the game had happened, but I'm not in the mood to write that out yet so it's on the back burner for now. (If you want to ask me about any ideas I have on tumblr go ahead though. I would be happy to tell you some of them.)


End file.
